In today's world of the perfect size and the perfect hair and high fashion, it can be difficult to accept yourself and take pride in the beautifully unique creation you are. However, as single moms, or even single women (or for even married women!), there may not always be "someone" around you to remind you how lovely, talented, beautiful and elegant you really are! So you have to do it yourself!
Realistically, legitimate self esteem generates from within a person and has very little to do with the exterior or "outside" world. That means that a woman could have a loving mate that lavishes her with gifts and compliments and still have a low self image. That's why we have to learn to esteem ourselves by cultivating a healthy love for ourselves. There are several ways to embrace and love yourself, one is to enjoy being alone. There are so many women who consistently need people around them. They never learned the quiet confidence of just being alone without being lonely. I've even stretched myself to enjoy an afternoon movie with just me - not feeling alone, or that someone is "missing"- just enjoying some time with myself.
Another way to enjoy you is to eliminate the unconstructive self talk. For instance, when you make a mistake or blunder, don't come back with a self-defeating comment like:
"Stupid!"
"Dummy!"
"I can't seem to do anything right!"
These statements deplete our self image and they do it very gradually and subtly. Instead using self-defeating language, be patient with yourself or as I heard a minister express, "be gentle with yourself". As a substitute for the negative self talk, reaffirm that you are indeed human and remind yourself that you are improving every day. The next time you make a error, try to say something like:
"That's an ooops." (then smile, mistakes aren't fatal!)
"Next time I'll do that differently."
"Look out folks, humanity shining through."
I have heard that the best way for the brain to eliminate a thought or process is to replace the"wrong" thought with a positive or preferred one. So, begin to retrain your thinking in the direction of encouraging and optimistic viewpoints.
Likewise, begin to notice and be intentionally aware of your beauty. As a replacement for of looking into the mirror and noticing only the wrinkles under your eyes, think to yourself how pretty your eyes are. Remind yourself you are "all that and a bag of chips" and that any man would be blessed to be able to share a lifetime with you! Tell yourself that until you believe it!
Remind yourself that you are God's unique, lovely daughter and that you have a dazzling future, with an awesome destiny. Declare that nothing can hold you back or keep you from succeeding. You've survived so much! You've made it this far in your journey a (In the proper perspective, that's not pride.) You know, a weaker woman would have caved under the pressure you've endured, but not beautiful, wonderful you! You're strong. You're a survivor and you need to remind yourself often!
Again, self esteem is about self. What you perceive yourself to be. If you think little of yourself, others will too. Even worse, your children will begin to see your negative self image and begin to manifest it in their own lives. You don't want that.
So, go for it...you're allowed to love yourself as God loves you. And you know what else? You might even find someone else that wants to love ya too!
Senin, 13 November 2017
Kamis, 26 Oktober 2017
Protecting Pregnant Women and Their Contributions To The Workforce
The Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978 makes it illegal to force pregnant employees to resign from their jobs. The act also makes pregnancy a disability thereby prohibiting employers from denying medical benefits to pregnant women. It forces employers to evaluate pregnant women on their performance to do the job.
If a woman goes on maternity leave, they must be guaranteed their original position upon returning. For an example, let's use the scene from the NBC hit show Friends. In this part of the episode, Rachel was already on maternity leave after giving birth to her daughter. She had two weeks left on maternity leave, and decided to pay a visit to her employer. Upon walking in to her office, she notices someone else working at her desk and working on a major project. The employee that was filling in said that if it wasn't for him, this division would have been shut down. This would be an example of an insensitive and threatening statement towards the incumbent employee. She was getting the impression that the company may be forcing her out. She decided to end her maternity leave earlier than expected to alleviate fear of losing her job. This is a very common situation that pregnant women experience on the job.
There are two alternatives when dealing with a pregnant employee. The first alternative is to utilize a temporary employee, which is hiring professionals for projects without have the obligation to keep the person once the job is done. Using temporary employees adds flexibility to your existing workforce.
When using temporary employees, the employer must make the temp aware that this position is only temporary and that the assignment will terminate at a definite date, such as when the incumbent employee returns from maternity leave. Policies should also be in place and enforced so that the temp does not alter the workspace of the incumbent employee in any way, shape, or form. Typically employees that fill in for the incumbent in this type of situation will place the incumbent's belongings into a box and shove it into the corner on the floor. You do not want to give any appearance that you are trying to squeeze out the incumbent from her job. Not only is this in violation of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, but this can also cause a hostile work environment, which is one of the two types of sexual harassment as defined by the EEOC.
The second alternative is to set up the position using telecommuting. This should be the preferred alternative. As soon as the employee announces that she is pregnant, the employer should offer her the opportunity to work from her home in a more relaxed environment. The employer and the employee should work together to set up procedures that would allow her to continue performing her job duties from her home.
The employee will be happy since she will be able to keep receiving a paycheck and will be assured on not losing her job. If this employee is one of your top performing employees, then the employer should do everything that is possible to want to keep this employee on your staff. It is best for both the employer and employee to start planning a telecommuting assignment as soon as the employee announces that she is pregnant. You would want to create a seamless transition from the traditional workplace to the alternative workplace. For the employer, it presents to the community that this company cares about its employees. It also presents that this company has a family friendly environment. The telecommuting alternative provides a win-win situation for both employer and employee.
In times of hyper-competition and employees leaving an organization for bigger and better opportunities, timing and sincerity of such activities are crucial in trying to prevent a key employee from leaving. If you are an employer who is trying to keep your good workers from leaving, then go that extra mile to show them that they are valued contributors of your organization. The benefits in the long term will surely outweigh the costs.
If a woman goes on maternity leave, they must be guaranteed their original position upon returning. For an example, let's use the scene from the NBC hit show Friends. In this part of the episode, Rachel was already on maternity leave after giving birth to her daughter. She had two weeks left on maternity leave, and decided to pay a visit to her employer. Upon walking in to her office, she notices someone else working at her desk and working on a major project. The employee that was filling in said that if it wasn't for him, this division would have been shut down. This would be an example of an insensitive and threatening statement towards the incumbent employee. She was getting the impression that the company may be forcing her out. She decided to end her maternity leave earlier than expected to alleviate fear of losing her job. This is a very common situation that pregnant women experience on the job.
There are two alternatives when dealing with a pregnant employee. The first alternative is to utilize a temporary employee, which is hiring professionals for projects without have the obligation to keep the person once the job is done. Using temporary employees adds flexibility to your existing workforce.
When using temporary employees, the employer must make the temp aware that this position is only temporary and that the assignment will terminate at a definite date, such as when the incumbent employee returns from maternity leave. Policies should also be in place and enforced so that the temp does not alter the workspace of the incumbent employee in any way, shape, or form. Typically employees that fill in for the incumbent in this type of situation will place the incumbent's belongings into a box and shove it into the corner on the floor. You do not want to give any appearance that you are trying to squeeze out the incumbent from her job. Not only is this in violation of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, but this can also cause a hostile work environment, which is one of the two types of sexual harassment as defined by the EEOC.
The second alternative is to set up the position using telecommuting. This should be the preferred alternative. As soon as the employee announces that she is pregnant, the employer should offer her the opportunity to work from her home in a more relaxed environment. The employer and the employee should work together to set up procedures that would allow her to continue performing her job duties from her home.
The employee will be happy since she will be able to keep receiving a paycheck and will be assured on not losing her job. If this employee is one of your top performing employees, then the employer should do everything that is possible to want to keep this employee on your staff. It is best for both the employer and employee to start planning a telecommuting assignment as soon as the employee announces that she is pregnant. You would want to create a seamless transition from the traditional workplace to the alternative workplace. For the employer, it presents to the community that this company cares about its employees. It also presents that this company has a family friendly environment. The telecommuting alternative provides a win-win situation for both employer and employee.
In times of hyper-competition and employees leaving an organization for bigger and better opportunities, timing and sincerity of such activities are crucial in trying to prevent a key employee from leaving. If you are an employer who is trying to keep your good workers from leaving, then go that extra mile to show them that they are valued contributors of your organization. The benefits in the long term will surely outweigh the costs.
Jumat, 13 Oktober 2017
An Engagement Ring Won't Bring You Soup When You're Sick
Many women, including me, have been groomed for marriage from the
moment we emerged from the womb. After my daughters were born, I can't tell
you how many people told my husband, "Hey, that's two weddings you have
to pay for, Buddy."
(His response? "I'm really more concerned about paying for their
educations.")
I probably don't have to tell you that the pressure intensifies once a
girl's friends start getting married. Then, all of a sudden, every
well-meaning aunt, brother-in-law, and clerk at the 7-11 want to know when
she's going to find a man and follow suit.
What often happens next is that a nice young woman starts feeling the
heat. She gets desperate. She focuses less on what she wants out of life
and more on the size of the diamond she wants in her engagement ring.
Instead of enjoying dates and really getting to know a guy, she only
wants to know whether he's the man who'll make all her little girl dreams
come true by asking her to marry him.
Eventually, somebody shows up with a ring, and she starts auditioning
wedding bands. She obsesses over whether the hunter green tablecloth is
superior to the buttercup yellow for the reception. She plans a
honeymoon with the strategic precision of a military invasion.
But she's neglected to do the most important thing, which is to ask
herself if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with the guy in
question.
Lest you think I exaggerate, a very good friend of mine spent Saturday
night crying because her husband (the one who came with the 2-carat
diamond in a platinum setting, the college degree, the well-paying job,
and the 4-bedroom house) would not allow her to go out with the girls,
even though he knew she'd had plans to do so for five weeks. Turns out,
he didn't feel like watching their four children, even though he
regularly leaves her with them to go away for weekends with his pals.
Another friend who fell for the fairy tale and woke up in the dungeon
recently got divorced. Her husband also provided a blinding gemstone and
an excellent salary. He came from a "good family" and the right
religious background. He kept a photo of my friend on his desk at his
prestigious firm, where she was not allowed to visit because he feared she
would embarrass him (trust me, she wouldn't). He complained that her
breasts were distracting and insisted she have them surgically reduced. He
informed her that if she gained a single pound over 125, their marriage
was over.
If you think these examples are extreme, I'm sorry to say they really
aren't. Go to dinner in a family restaurant on a Friday or Saturday
night and witness all the married couples who don't even talk to each
other.
You don't want to end up like these people.
To make sure you don't, take your time when you're dating someone.
After a while, if your relationship seems to be heading somewhere, ask
questions that matter: Does the guy want children? More important, what are
his beliefs about the raising of children? Who takes care of household
chores? What are his feelings about infidelity? Does he believe
marriage is for life, or does he think it should last only as long as it's
fun?
You don't necessarily want to tie the guy to a chair and torture him
with Christina Aguilera records until he coughs up the answers, but you
do want to ask him. Casually. One question at a time. Get to know a guy
before you start fantasizing about floating up an aisle in a big white
dress.
One of the great things about being single is that your world is full
of possibilities. You're free to come and go as you please. You never
want to find yourself crying your eyes out, trapped with a pack of
screaming children because you married some loser who won't let you out of
the house.
It's your life. You deserve to spend it with a man who respects that
and makes you truly happy. He's out there, so hold out for him.
moment we emerged from the womb. After my daughters were born, I can't tell
you how many people told my husband, "Hey, that's two weddings you have
to pay for, Buddy."
(His response? "I'm really more concerned about paying for their
educations.")
I probably don't have to tell you that the pressure intensifies once a
girl's friends start getting married. Then, all of a sudden, every
well-meaning aunt, brother-in-law, and clerk at the 7-11 want to know when
she's going to find a man and follow suit.
What often happens next is that a nice young woman starts feeling the
heat. She gets desperate. She focuses less on what she wants out of life
and more on the size of the diamond she wants in her engagement ring.
Instead of enjoying dates and really getting to know a guy, she only
wants to know whether he's the man who'll make all her little girl dreams
come true by asking her to marry him.
Eventually, somebody shows up with a ring, and she starts auditioning
wedding bands. She obsesses over whether the hunter green tablecloth is
superior to the buttercup yellow for the reception. She plans a
honeymoon with the strategic precision of a military invasion.
But she's neglected to do the most important thing, which is to ask
herself if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with the guy in
question.
Lest you think I exaggerate, a very good friend of mine spent Saturday
night crying because her husband (the one who came with the 2-carat
diamond in a platinum setting, the college degree, the well-paying job,
and the 4-bedroom house) would not allow her to go out with the girls,
even though he knew she'd had plans to do so for five weeks. Turns out,
he didn't feel like watching their four children, even though he
regularly leaves her with them to go away for weekends with his pals.
Another friend who fell for the fairy tale and woke up in the dungeon
recently got divorced. Her husband also provided a blinding gemstone and
an excellent salary. He came from a "good family" and the right
religious background. He kept a photo of my friend on his desk at his
prestigious firm, where she was not allowed to visit because he feared she
would embarrass him (trust me, she wouldn't). He complained that her
breasts were distracting and insisted she have them surgically reduced. He
informed her that if she gained a single pound over 125, their marriage
was over.
If you think these examples are extreme, I'm sorry to say they really
aren't. Go to dinner in a family restaurant on a Friday or Saturday
night and witness all the married couples who don't even talk to each
other.
You don't want to end up like these people.
To make sure you don't, take your time when you're dating someone.
After a while, if your relationship seems to be heading somewhere, ask
questions that matter: Does the guy want children? More important, what are
his beliefs about the raising of children? Who takes care of household
chores? What are his feelings about infidelity? Does he believe
marriage is for life, or does he think it should last only as long as it's
fun?
You don't necessarily want to tie the guy to a chair and torture him
with Christina Aguilera records until he coughs up the answers, but you
do want to ask him. Casually. One question at a time. Get to know a guy
before you start fantasizing about floating up an aisle in a big white
dress.
One of the great things about being single is that your world is full
of possibilities. You're free to come and go as you please. You never
want to find yourself crying your eyes out, trapped with a pack of
screaming children because you married some loser who won't let you out of
the house.
It's your life. You deserve to spend it with a man who respects that
and makes you truly happy. He's out there, so hold out for him.
Sabtu, 30 September 2017
Net Smart Moms: Finding Contests and Sweepstakes on the Internet
If you are like me, you love a good contest or sweepstakes. But with so many online, how can you tell them all apart? I find it easiest to break them down into three categories: national brand contests, website contests, and affiliate program contests. While not every online contest fits into one of these categories, most fit nicely.
National Brand Giveaways
National brand giveaways are my favorites. They tend to have the largest payouts with the least chance of your information being sold. Prizes often include vacations, automobiles, and large cash prizes. In addition, there are usually multiple smaller prizes in addition to the grand prizes.
Various contest websites collect these national brand contests and sweepstakes and earn no income off of your participation. The national brands sponsor these contests mainly in an effort to achieve brand recognition and publicity. Some will begin sending you coupons or promotions, but only if you check a box that you allow it. Aside from the contest directories, you can find these contests yourself by visiting your favorite national brands online.
The national brand giveaways may also be in the form of recipe contests or essay contests. Often they are tied to big events such as holidays, sporting events, movie premiers, or awards shows. Examples of sponsors of national brand giveaways include Procter & Gamble, Oprah, Kraft, and Disney.
Website Freebies
Smaller companies will often feature low budget contests on their websites as a means of getting website traffic. The website freebies are also a way of getting you to sign up for a newsletter or company distribution list. That is not to say that the contests are not worth entering. In fact, your chances of winning are likely to be much better than with the national brand contests.
Contest websites directories that feature national brand giveaways will often include many of the smaller freebie contests as well. A good example of the smaller website freebie is Usborne books. You can find these contests by visiting contest directories or merely by searching for your favorite types of products in a search engine with the word "contest." Chances are good that you will stumble across these on your own.
Survey Signup Contests
Survey contests are a different animal altogether. Although these will sometimes feature a national brand as the prize, they are not affiliated in any way with that national brand. You have to read the fine print on the website carefully.
As far as I can tell, the motive behind the survey signup contest is to gather your data for use (usually) by third parties. The down side of these is that you can get added to lists where you will receive a lot of spam (email junk mail). The up side is that you will often receive the opportunity for free samples or discounts from vendors. The motivation on the part of the website directory where you find the link is generally that the website gets paid per number of entries.
You will predominantly find these listed in contest directories or as part of advertisements. You can also search for the word "survey" and your particular area of interest and you will find hundreds of them quickly.
Contests in General
The bottom line with all of these contests is to know what you are getting into. Read the print of every checkbox on the screen before you decide whether it is worth it to enter a contest. All of the types of giveaways listed above can be legitimate when done properly. One tip that I give everyone is to set up a separate email account for your contest entries. In the event that you get placed on a spam list, you will protect your personal or work account for too much traffic or even viruses.
National Brand Giveaways
National brand giveaways are my favorites. They tend to have the largest payouts with the least chance of your information being sold. Prizes often include vacations, automobiles, and large cash prizes. In addition, there are usually multiple smaller prizes in addition to the grand prizes.
Various contest websites collect these national brand contests and sweepstakes and earn no income off of your participation. The national brands sponsor these contests mainly in an effort to achieve brand recognition and publicity. Some will begin sending you coupons or promotions, but only if you check a box that you allow it. Aside from the contest directories, you can find these contests yourself by visiting your favorite national brands online.
The national brand giveaways may also be in the form of recipe contests or essay contests. Often they are tied to big events such as holidays, sporting events, movie premiers, or awards shows. Examples of sponsors of national brand giveaways include Procter & Gamble, Oprah, Kraft, and Disney.
Website Freebies
Smaller companies will often feature low budget contests on their websites as a means of getting website traffic. The website freebies are also a way of getting you to sign up for a newsletter or company distribution list. That is not to say that the contests are not worth entering. In fact, your chances of winning are likely to be much better than with the national brand contests.
Contest websites directories that feature national brand giveaways will often include many of the smaller freebie contests as well. A good example of the smaller website freebie is Usborne books. You can find these contests by visiting contest directories or merely by searching for your favorite types of products in a search engine with the word "contest." Chances are good that you will stumble across these on your own.
Survey Signup Contests
Survey contests are a different animal altogether. Although these will sometimes feature a national brand as the prize, they are not affiliated in any way with that national brand. You have to read the fine print on the website carefully.
As far as I can tell, the motive behind the survey signup contest is to gather your data for use (usually) by third parties. The down side of these is that you can get added to lists where you will receive a lot of spam (email junk mail). The up side is that you will often receive the opportunity for free samples or discounts from vendors. The motivation on the part of the website directory where you find the link is generally that the website gets paid per number of entries.
You will predominantly find these listed in contest directories or as part of advertisements. You can also search for the word "survey" and your particular area of interest and you will find hundreds of them quickly.
Contests in General
The bottom line with all of these contests is to know what you are getting into. Read the print of every checkbox on the screen before you decide whether it is worth it to enter a contest. All of the types of giveaways listed above can be legitimate when done properly. One tip that I give everyone is to set up a separate email account for your contest entries. In the event that you get placed on a spam list, you will protect your personal or work account for too much traffic or even viruses.
Kamis, 07 September 2017
Women And Friendship, Is It As Good Or Better Than Chocolate?
I'll start this article by admitting that I am a full-blown "chocoholic." I love the way eating a piece of chocolate makes me feel. It's so indulging, satisfying, and to me is the ultimate reward or excuse to instantly lift my spirits, calm my nerves, and just make me happy. This lead me to thinking about how few things in life are as good or better than chocolate.
Now, I would certainly have to rank being a Mom at the top of the list, but another big contender is Friendship. I think it is truly disappointing that we as women allow something as rewarding and bittersweet as friendship, to regularly take a back seat to our careers, husbands, children and busy demands of life. When you compare eating a piece of chocolate to spending time with friends, you will find a lot of commonalities...
Friendship and Chocolate are both actually healthy for us.
Friendship and Chocolate both make us feel good.
Friendship and Chocolate can be addictive and both make us eager
for more.
Did you know that researchers and scientists have suggested that chocolate contains compounds that can help maintain a healthy heart, good circulation, and reduce blood clotting? And, a Nurses study at Harvard Medical school found that women with friends were less likely to develop physical impairments as they aged.
I know for me personally, whether it's a few minutes on the phone, a nice e-mail shared, lunch/dinner, or movie time spent with a friend, I am left feeling refreshed, happy, and ready to sing, "I feel like a Woman!" While I truly love being a Mom, I need friend time for me (even though half of it may be spent talking about the children anyway). It just feels great to spend time with my girlfriends to gab about everything under the sun, including love, relationships, finances, parenting, - and occasionally important topics like Brad Pitt!
Have you every noticed that when you do finally take the time to make that phone call to your friend, send that e-mail, or arrange that dinner or movie date, that you feel so good you automatically start planning for the next chat or get together. We do this because this needed interaction with our female friends just leaves us eager for more. This "feel good" addiction is similar to why we automatically eat more than one piece of chocolate in the box (and admit it, we rarely stop at just one).
I may be disqualified to judge what is truly better, friendships between women; or chocolate, since I admittedly confessed to being a "chocoholic". After all, some of you reading this article may not even like chocolate. In my opinion they are both equally fabulous. However, I do want to say if ever you needed to slow down, and purposely make time for something in your life amongst your daily juggling of activities, then please do so for friendships. Finding "friendship" time needs to be a priority even if it is once a week or once a month, to catch up with old friends and to make new ones. It's healthy, it makes you feel good, and you (we) deserve more of it.
Cheers to a happy, healthy, life shared with many great friends and of course a bit of chocolate!
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)